Myself and I

Things I'm Sad About 2019:

I always have these great photoshoot ideas, plans for themed shoots, drive to do specific things in certain time periods. Then I get sick, haven't slept much, don't have the space or knowledge to set up what I want to.. and it makes me dejected cause I'm not doing as much as all the people that inspire me, I feel like if im not doing the stuff that could get me followers in the right time frame then I've missed my chance completely and I'm a failure... which I know is wrong... But its still there. I'm also sad im not able to travel to all the cons and see out of country friends. Most importantly I'm not able to do the art I want to in the time period I want to. It makes me sad. I look at other people's stuff that inspire me and then my own and feel shitty about it cause I feel I'm not talented enough, but like I could be with practise and learning, or money to get the cool things. (but less so that cause there are cheaper ways.)

Things I'm Happy About In 2019:

Im in an amazing relationship, and he's super supportive and really good for me, he is the best. There is sooo much potential in the house for lots of things in the future that I'm REALLY excited about, but they take a long time. Like the plan is to make everything look really nice so that it can be slightly a cosplay BNB type thing. Come visit Canada, have a sewing room, workshop, etc to work on the cosplays. Then there's gonna be a beautiful garden, hot tub, photo studio with all kinds of backdrops and props! Then the inside of the house will have all kinds of neat things for non cosplay/I guess cosplay shoots! Like a giant shower/bathtub/fireplace/hiding spaces for bodies(kidding). It'll be really cool! I just wish I could wave a wand and it happen. I'm getting WAY better at cosplay. Haha I turned an old sad cosplay into something I'm actually really proud of so that's really neat. It's my Christmas Evelynn.. which hopefully I'll feel better enough to shoot before xmas... Otherwise it'll be next year(or I shoot and post in July cause I FREAKING CAN LOL) Also! we are looking into possibly having photosets up at cons for people to shoot at next year! So that'll be pretty cool if it works out!!

Anyways that's my rant. I'm looking forward to all the fun things in 2020! Hopefully I can get my butt in gear and do some really amazing things! Feel free to let me know things you'd like to see in 2020!!!

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